I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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