It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I have tasted many bathrooms
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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