Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
This baby is an asshole
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
