Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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