Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
