dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
