; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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