who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
