I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
