everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
