I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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