Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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