if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
