but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
