pedialite and red bull = repair kit
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
