"it" just moved
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
