Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize