Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I still have a little drunk in my system
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
