My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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