You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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