The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize