I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
