Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
