God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
