Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
