Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
