And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
