I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
