There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
