And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
