I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
