I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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