I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize