when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
