At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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