Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
