He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
