She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
