Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
How external is "for external use only"?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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