So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
