So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
