How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
