I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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