maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
