dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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