Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
