I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
