i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I CAN MOONWALK!
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
