Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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