Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
You smell like stripper and shame
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
