he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
