I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
