We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize