sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
