yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
