You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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