I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
