Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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