I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
they're like a gay fantastic four
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
