Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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