I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Two words: blizzard sex
Randomize
